Sunday, May 10, 2009

First Times

Ah, first times. Rumor has it that it just might be the best sex of your life, that it is incredibly special, almost magical. Virgins whisper about it in awe, and build up monumental expectations about how wondrous it will be.

Unfortunately, the reality isn't usually such a perfect fairy tale.
There are awkward moments, elbows in the wrong places, embarrassing bodily noises, uncertainty, for some people there is pain and some bleeding; often it is rushed, inexperienced, and rather anti-climactic. Because we are a product of our culture, there is often shame, whether because the sex was premarital, or within marriage because the sex was enjoyed for something other than procreation. Many people are left disappointed by their first time, through no fault of their own. As they grow more comfortable and experienced in their sexuality, they may wish that they could go back and do it over, to fix it so that it was the magical time they had dreamed for.

Last night, I found out that this is possible. No, you can't actually go back and fix the past, but you can re-live it, and make sure that this time it goes as you wish. For us, it started with a whimsical trip through a lingerie department, past the bridal wedding-night attire. We laughed at some of the ridiculous bits, and how awfully uncomfortable most of it looked. (That bit of scratchy lace goes WHERE?)

Then, we saw it. A white teddy, made of an incredibly soft stretchy fabric, trimmed with white lace. We looked at it. We chuckled. We looked at it again. He turned to me with a pleading expression. While they don't make such dainty garments for slender ladies with ginormous bosoms, there was one that was close enough. Besides, he likes seeing me spill out of the top of lingerie, so who was I to complain?

I wouldn't let him see me as I got dressed later that evening, just like when we first started making love. I wouldn't let him see me shimmy out of my jeans and t-shirt, and slip into my new naughties, as it were. I paired it with a white satin ribbon choker and white stockings; I brushed out my long golden hair until it shone. He lit some (flameless) candles and turned down the lights; he set out an assortment of toys in a discrete spot by the bed. Then I made my entrance.

We had only rarely role-played before this. It wasn't nearly as hard as we expected, for me to play the role of a nervous but excited virgin, for him to be the gentle, more experienced lover. It wasn't as if they were roles we hadn't lived, but this time, oh yes, THIS was what that first time should have been like. Though the roles were of two people who had never known each others bodies before, we knew what made each other gasp and moan.

My first time wasn't the best sex. Heck, it wasn't even very good sex, because I was too nervous to relax, and we were too nervous about being interrupted. His first time hadn't been anything spectacular either (more on the opposite end of the spectrum). But this "first time" was some of the best sex we've had, and I suspect that there will be many more.

But next time, he gets to be the virgin. ;)

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