Monday, June 29, 2009

Closest Shave, but a Shame

The crotch can be a shaving nightmare, especially when you have a picky pussy. I can, at most, shave down there three times a week, if I'm very careful and lucky. I've given up on shaving my mons and bikini line altogether in favor of home waxing. While my labia are better behaved, you so much as say "dry shave" around them and they bleed. If I try to crowd shavings, they get raw and horribly uncomfortable. Add to that the issues of trying to bend to see what I'm doing when my back is acting up, and I wish I could wave a magic wand at my pubes and make them behave.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Of incredible trust: a strap-on story

Saturday night looked like it was going to be like any other Saturday night: good sex, cuddles, then watching a movie together before bed. I'd pretty much decided in my head that his agreement to use a strap-on together the previous weekend had just been the vodka talking. Every other time we'd talked about it, his response had been maybe someday, but not ready yet. He sometimes says he wants things he's not ready for when he's tipsy, so how was I to know this was any different?

Friday, June 26, 2009

Review: Jolie by Natural Contours

I’m always on the lookout for a small, strong, quiet, low-maintenance vibrator. For about a month, this position was filled by the Natural Contours Jolie. I adored the little thing, with its small profile and deep vibrations, enough to forgive its slightly clunky, retro “vibe” (if you’ll pardon the expression).

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Orgasm: best pain-killer ever

Let's talk about pain.

Not the kinky kind, the spankings and floggings that make you quiver all over. Not the quick kind, like when you prick your finger or get a headache. The kind of pain that takes over your life.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Review: Pure by Evolved

Recently, the toy fairies over at EdenFantasys sent me the Pure by Evolved to review. Initially, I was a little underwhelmed by the power of the otherwise well-made toy, but I soon learned that much of this was because I had used rechargeable batteries. Standard disposables definitely increase the strength, though I'd much rather use rechargeable batteries. I hear Eneloops can hold their own against disposable batteries, so feel free to use those in the Pure.

The Pure is my favorite (affordable) upgrade from the standard basic vibrator. She’s strong. Her vibrations are deep and thrumming. She’s velvety. She’s ridiculously waterproof. She’s quiet. Some may find her too simple, too bland, but when I see a basic toy like this I take it as a challenge to see how many new uses I can come up for with it. We both had a lot of fun stretching our imaginations to the limit, but there always seem to be so many more possibilities with a generalize toy like the Pure than with a hyper-specialized toy. To illustrate, how many nonstandard uses can you think of for an ergonomic prostate-aimed butt plug? You have 2 minutes. GO!

If you thought of more than 3, I'm impressed and want to hear them.

To read my full review on the Pure, click over to EdenFantasys…

Worthy of my toys

I've noticed that I do most of my purchasing of more expensive sex toys, or more expensive batches of sex toys, when it's either very late at night, or when I'm under the influence of a small amount of alcohol or my pain medication. My guard goes down, and I shell out the money for those playthings I've been lusting after.

I have never regretted a single one of those purchases. They were always within my budget. They were all things I wanted to buy. Most of them were purchases I'd thought about long and hard. But without that little extra push, I'd never have bought most of them. After my most recent such purchase, I think I may have finally realized why.

I don't think I deserve them.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Sexy Shoes Tuesday!

I’m not usually a big shoe person. Yes, I like them, but I don’t own many. Growing up, I usually owned a pair or two of sneakers, a pair or two of inexpensive sandals (think cheap flip-flops), and the bare minimum of dress shoes: a closed pair for winter, and an open pair for summer. For most of High School, I had more pairs of dance and theater related shoes than other shoes. Now I have more, but it’s still a relatively small collection. I ain’t got nothin’ on most gals.

But there are some shoes that are just plain sexy. I'm not talking shoes that make you go "ooh, that's cute," I'm talking shoes I want to fuck in.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Squeee!

*does a happy dance around the room*

Ok. I've got that out of my system now. After all of the insanity I went through trying to convince myself to get a Lelo sex toy, I had a lovely little conversation with my boyfriend. While most of it is none of your business, he told me that he wanted to buy me a sex toy, with the condition that it had to be under $30, because his wallet was thin at the time. This was great, but at that moment there wasn't anything in that price range that was really high on my wish list.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Your Brain on Sex

We in the Neuroscience community estimate that the human brain contains upwards of 100 billion neurons. That's a one with eleven zeros after it. Each one connects to anywhere from a few to thousands of other neurons.

In geek speak, look at it this way: imagine that each neuron can only contain one bit of information (though in reality they can hold many more, as determined by a horde of details you can go find in a textbook if you're really interested). The brain could hold 100 Terabytes of information. On top of that, it can process this information far faster and with more nuanced complexity than any computer ever made.

In other words, the greatest, most powerful sex machine ever. Who could say no to that much porn-remembering-sex-intensifying-orgasm-fueling processing power?

Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce your Brain, sovereign of sordid (cerebral) sex.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Earn it!

For a long time, I didn't understand the appeal of luxury vibrators. I mean, come on, I can rip out a damn good orgasm with a $10 bullet, so why the heck should I pay more? Sure my bullets broke in a few months, but then I could buy a new one and not be upset that it broke. It was only $10 after all.

After a few weeks I decided that paying a little extra for water resistant toys would be a good idea. I live in a dorm, with a roommate. There is little privacy, so shower time became me time. I still didn't consider spending above $20 for a toy, though.

Sexy Shoes Tuesday

In a fit of silliness, I hereby declare today Sexy Shoes Tuesday. I’m not usually shoe-crazy, but far be it from me to deny Miss Fuck Me Pumps and M’lady Fuck Me Boots their proper place. So, as an offering to the Sexy Shoe gods, I present this ode to sexy shoes.

Oh Sexy Shoes,
How I love thee.
Thy shape, how fine
Thy line, so fair
That arches high
And sweeps me off my feet
(perhaps I should have practiced more
before I left the house...)

The angle that you make
Doth give my legs that extra
Sleek
Something more
That makes them seem sky-high
And divinely shaped

Thy dainty form
Doth make me like a lady move
With gliding step
And swaying hip
Instead of like a boy

I doth love less
The way you pinch
The way you press
The way you rub
The way you make my poor feet ache
But it is worth it in the end
(though I may need an asprin
Before I put you on again)

I adore you for the many ways
You tantalize both me
And he
And they
For through thy faults
None can contest
Thy sexy deity

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Review: Ideal Massager

After going back and forth over it for months, I finally did it: I bought myself the Ideal Massager (though we're not going to talk about the CRAZY deal I got on it. Seriously.)

This thing is ridiculously strong. Sure, it looks kind of funny. Sure, it's not waterproof (often a deal-breaker in my book). Sure, it's loud enough that someone dear to me has likened it to a chainsaw. But when you've got a vibrator/massager this strong, who the heck cares? Add an attachment, and I never want to get out of bed.

I was once warned against purchasing a vibrator this strong, that they make you want to throw away all the rest. While this isn't precisely true, I sure haven't been spending nearly as much time with my other toys.

To read my review of the Ideal, wander over to EdenFantasys.com and see how long you can resist the temptation.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Forum Threads and Erotic Dreams

Over on the EdenFantasys forums, there's a new thread about being a member of the opposite sex for the day. Included is a poll asking if you'd do it, with the choices yes, no, and other.

I'm one of the oddballs that chose "other."

Really. If given the chance to be a man for a day (especially with the thread's condition that it might be permanent), I'd turn it down. I love being a woman. I love my breasts, the way they feel and move, even though they can sometimes be a literal pain in the chest and back. I love my clitoris, with multiple orgasms, and endless orgasms that stretch on and on. I love my hips and my newly grown ass. I love my slender, shapely legs, and the high heels that make them so sexy. I love my hands, so delicate and nimble. I love my delicate bone structure, my long eyelashes, my soprano voice, and I absolutely adore my hair in its long golden tresses.

Being a guy for a day might be fun. But all that I'd want out of that would be having a penis, without losing any of my womanly bits.

If I could be another sex for a day, I guess I'd want to be the variety of intersex that was traditionally called a hermaphrodite. I find the idea of having a penis, but being otherwise a woman (including having a "normal" vagina) incredibly erotic. I'm not sure why, but this has been a fantasy of mine for a while now. I'm not sure if it's me being greedy and wanting only the bits that appeal to me from both sides, or what, but it's there.

With all of this swirling around in my head, I took a nap after work.

(You know where this is going, don't you?)

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Faith, Hope, Love... and the greatest of these is...

(self) Love. The physical love of oneself. Masturbation. Preferably with sex toys.

(Oh yes. I just went there. And before you flip, I sing in the church choir. Now, may I continue?)

Ah, sex toys. Before we discover them, they are forbidden territory: dirty, wrong, and just a little bit tantalizing, which makes them even more forbidden. To the sex toy owners, look back. Remember when you got your first. Was it from a sleazy porn store? A creepy sex toy shop on the other side of town? The back room of a lingerie store? An austere website, or a gaudy one? Amazon, or ebay perhaps?