Saturday, May 15, 2010

Boy Body Hair

I'm a bit funny about hair. Personally, I adore a good head of hair. Seriously, it's one of the big things that really stick about a person, to me. I'll be able to describe their hair to you, a few approximates about their general body type... and that's about it. But I'll be able to go on and on about their hair. I adore my own hair (or what's left of it now that I've donated again); I love playing with my boyfriend's thick, soft ringlets. Think hispanic Shirley Temple hair in a rich brownish black, and you've got his hair. It's wonderful and perfect to play with, while still being masculine. Playing with it when it's freshly washed and brushed and dried, when it glows and shines and runs through my fingers like silk, is such a sensuous experience for me.

I'm fine with arm hair on a guy. Leg hair? Fact of life, doesn't bug me. Facial hair isn't my thing, but I understand that some people (read: my boyfriend) look better with a goatee than cleanshaven, so regardless of the fact that it feels like a nest of black wires, I put up with it. (And pull it and pet it and play with it and threaten to braid it...)

And then there's torso hair.

I absolutely loathe hair on a guy's torso. Chest hair, back hair, crotch or butt hair. Anything more than a fine coating of down is a turn-off for me. To give you an idea, there was one actor I loved drooling over for years. Then I saw him topless. After one disappointed glimpse at that chest hair, I lost all attraction. There was literally nothing there. No more feverish fantasizing sessions about his hot bod. Nothing but regret, and a bit of revulsion. Heavy chest hair bugs me that much.

Herein lies the problem. I love my boyfriend. I find him hot, and sexy, and wonderful. But genetically, I know I'm in for a nightmare as he ages. You see, his dad and older brother look like they're wearing bear rugs on their chests. Seriously. It terrifies me. Until about a year ago, it looked like my boyfriend took after the other side of the family, with just a dusting of thicker chest hair under the clavicle. Then, it started to spread. More of his chest got hairy. Recently, it's started to meander over onto his back as well.

I don't want to be turned off by my boyfriend's body hair, really I don't. Regardless of how I tease him, I'm never going to force him into a waxing salon, either. (If he chooses to, fine, but only if HE really wants rid of the hair, not just for me) I have, however, banned him from ever shaving. I am NOT cuddling up to a prickly mass of full-body stubble. I just need to learn how to... if not appreciate, at least not be bugged so much by his body hair. Somehow. Before he gets a bear rug chest of his own.

(Maybe I could give it a name? Call it Fred, and make a pet of it?)

(Ok, maybe that's going a little too far.)

... I'm Tickled - Submit to

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