Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Stubble Hatred

I'm having a great deal of trouble getting used to the whole "shaving the cooch" thing again. After a year of mostly waxing and epilating, it's all so new and strange. And itchy. And unpleasant. And an all-around bitch.

The shaving part itself isn't all that bad. A fresh razor, some conditioner or lube for glide, and some gentle care, and it's gone. I'm re-learning not to crowd shavings too much, because it leads to a bleeding mons, and how to reduce the angry red irritation bumps afterward. And I'm having to re-learn how to deal with stubble. Not the soft, re-growth after waxing, but sharp, pokey, itchy, painful shaving-stubble.

Now I remember why I switched to ripping the buggers out by the roots in the first place! The stubble on my labia, I can stand to an extent. The pubes are softer there. But on the mons? Goodness gracious, who replaced my pubes with bevel tipped 24 gauge wires? Seriously not cool. They hurt, they itch, and they're just plain uncomfortable! A day or two after I shave, even the softest cotton undies feel like they're lined with steel wool. Going commando under a skirt has never been so tempting.

How the hell did I bear this for years? I hope I get used to this soon, or it may drive me stark raving bonkers. Bonkers, I tell you! If you see a crazy woman in a lab coat running down the street attacking people with the unholy child of a dildo and a flamethrower and a machete... tell her to go find some chocolate. And refer her to a good laser hair removal place.

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  1. Whoa, it sounds like you're a bit stressed about this. (First off, have a chuckle with me, because I horribly misread your title and thought it was "Subtle hatred") Now, what razor do you use to shave, and what do you use for shaving (cream/gel/etc)?

    I use a Noxzema bikini razor and Pantene Pro-V conditioner. Been doin' it for years; it's an awesome combo. ^_^ (I'd appreciate it if you'd poke me on twitter if/when you reply)

  2. I'm not really stressed about this, per se. I'm stressed out in general, and this was what I decided to rant about, hahah. :P I actually misread my own title, too, when I was writing this. I kept looking up and wondering if I'd misspelled it!

    I use a Quattro razor with the sensitive blade cartridges, and usually Head&Shoulders intensive treatment conditioner. It worked pretty well when I was shaving regularly before, I think a lot of it is a combination of really sensitive skin, and getting said skin used to this again. Until then, another friend recommended applying witch hazel when I get out of the shower to keep the red bumps away. It's helped a bit. Once upon a time, I used pantene pro-v shampoo and conditioner, but my whole scalp broke out every time I used them. *shrug* Stupid skin. I may have to go look for one of those bikini razors, though. They sound like a good idea, thanks!