On Tuesday, my family was reminded of the discrimination that transgendered couples can face in our area. My transmom had been sick for a few days when she went to see our doctor (who does know that my transmom is transgendered). She sent my transmom straight to the hospital to be checked for diverticulitis. She should have gone straight there, but she couldn't.
Why?
Because she had to go home and change into masculine clothes, taking off her bra and switching from panties to briefs. She had to make sure that no one would question her presentation as a man before she could go to the hospital.
Why?
Because if she went to the hospital as the woman she is, the hospital could (and has, to other families) turn my mother away and refuse her visiting rights. They are legally married in this state, but the hospital would assume that a marriage between two women couldn't possible be valid, as homosexual marriages are illegal in our state. (My parents can remain married once my transmom legally transitions, but they would not be allowed to marry if they hadn't met until after the transition)
My transmom had to endanger her health and delay going to the hospital, just to make sure that she didn't offend someone by being in a homosexual marriage.
Diverticulitis is not a condition to be trifled with. The doctors at the hospital suspect that my transmom may have a perforated bowel. She may have an infection spilling into her abdominal cavity. She may need to have a section of her colon removed after this.
And she had to delay even going to the hospital, because of pure, unadulterated bigotry.
I hate that hospitals can refuse visiting rights because of bigotry. I hate how strict visiting rights are generally. What is the point of forcing people to be alone, away from friends and loved ones, at times like these?
ReplyDeleteI hope she gets better soon!
Ugh that makes me so angry. I'm glad she made it there in one piece. I gather from your tweets she won't need surgery? That would be great news.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the well wishes. As of tonight, we've been told that she probably won't need surgery. Final call will be made by the docs tomorrow, so we're keeping our fingers crossed.
ReplyDelete