Friday, January 22, 2010

Review: Mia

The Lelo Mia sets my geeky heart afire. This little pocket vibrator masquerades as a fancy designer flash drive. It has a motor almost as strong as the usual Lelo motor. This cute little thing one-ups the sweet rechargeables in the rest of Lelo’s toys, however: it charges via USB port.

Oh yes. They went there. You can now stick your vibrator into your computer to charge. Let your poor, devoted computer in on the action.

And you know what? I charged this little gem in class, in a crowded lecture hall, and no one batted an eye. My girly “thumb drive” got a few appreciative looks, but no one ever suspected that I had a vibrator in plain view.

That makes this one of the most successfully incognito vibrators I have ever seen. Seriously, most “discrete” vibrators don’t pass more than the most fleeting inspection. Lip stick? The instant your girlfriend opens it to see the color, you’re toast. Cell phone? Then why doesn’t it look like the one in your pocket? Rubber Ducky? So many people know about these by now, it’s not even a very safe disguise anymore. Unless someone either knows what Lelo is (and hence will recognize the Mia anyway), or tries to actually access your files, there’s nothing about the Mia to hint that it’s anything other than a fancy flash drive. The controls even resemble those seen on some of the fancier locking drives.

For these reasons alone, I was prepared to love the Mia. But oh, esta bella mia, she has more to deliver. Unlike many discrete vibrators, she actually has some power to back up her geeky aspirations. The digital motor has the usual whine, but otherwise it is as quiet as Lelo’s other toys, which is pretty darn quiet. It’s run to the bathroom while you’re on break at work quiet. The buzzy vibrations are centered in the tip of the rounded end of the toy, opposite the USB port and pointy Lelo-marked cap. The smooth surface needs little to no lube, though users who like texture will find none at all.

The controls are a silicone rocker with a plus on one end and a minus on the other. Lights beneath the silicone light when the buttons are depressed. Pressing (+) turns the vibrations on. Holding the (+) glides you up through the gradient of solid vibrations, from a light tickle to a respectable purr; holding the (-) slides you back down through the speeds to off again. At the top speed, holding the (+) down for 3-5 seconds moves you into the vibration modes. During any pulsation mode, pressing the (-) brings you back to solid vibrations. At any time, pressing and holding the (-) turns off the vibrations. Hooray for instant shut-off! Like all Lelo toys, pressing the (+) and (-) at the same time for about 5 seconds will lock the vibrator, so it won't turn on while bouncing around in your bag. Press and hold them again to turn unlock.

The Mia can be a little tricky to clean, because it is both small and not at all splashproof. You can’t just hold her under the faucet and rinse her off, or douse her with lube. She’s built to be an external vibrator, so feel free to tease anything you can reach, as long as it’s not inside an orifice. Dipping much inside may get her far damper than she’d like. For cleaning, your best bet is to use toy wipes or a spray-on cleaner, or to wipe her down with a soapy cloth, then rinse with a wet cloth. If you need to give her a harder cleaning, the plastic can be wiped down with rubbing alcohol once in a while. Because the controls are silicone, if you decide to use lube, use a very small amount of water based lube with this toy.

Now, about those vibrations. While they are quite respectable for a petite discrete vibrator, they are by no means earthshaking. It’s a tradeoff that must often be made to keep a quiet toy within a realistic price range. They are stronger than your average button cell wireless bullet, but if you need 3-4 AA batteries or a wall outlet to power your jack-off gear to have a prayer of getting off, you’re going to be terribly disappointed with this toy. For the even moderately sensitive, it’s great for when you really need to relieve stress with an orgasm, but must be discrete. It won’t produce toe curling, earth shattering orgasms, but it’ll get you there without anyone the wiser. For those who find themselves in such a position, the Mia is a godsend. For those who adore geeky, high-tech toys, or get off on using something so geeky (raises hand), this is a must-have toy.

And who could resist a vibrator that charges by plugging into your computer?

product picture
Clitoral vibrator by LELO
Material: Silicone / Plastic

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