Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Spring Cleaning

In a fit of orderliness, I spent an hour re-organizing my sex toy drawer. It had gotten to the point where I was running out of room, couldn't find things quickly, and certain favorites had been eaten by the abyss. Much to my surprise, when I reorganized, not only did I have plenty of room, but I had more than enough, before throwing anything away!

Monday, March 30, 2009

Beginnings, Blogs, and Lines in the Sand

I've been an on-again-off-again blogger for almost ten years. I had a livejournal where I babbled about whatever came to mind; I shared a deadjournal because we thought it was funny to see who could write the craziest pretend-emo posts; I had a "social" blog my friends knew about on Xanga for a while, and a private Xanga where I posted the poetry I had written that I didn't want my parents finding on the computer; I had another livejournal where I vented; I tried out the blog feature on MySpace and found it severely lacking; I've had a few other web journals scattered around cyberspace that I no longer even remember the hosts for.

Looking back, I realize that except for that little Xanga of self-exploratory poetry, none of those early forays into blogging was really for myself. They were censored and edited and slanted based on the people who knew about them and about me. I could never just say what was on my mind. I could never explore and work out the crazy, wonderful things going on in my mind, because someone who knew me would decide I'd gone off the deep end and call for a therapist, just because I was pondering philosophy at a young age. I could never rant about the people or events in my life honestly, because when people know both you personally and your handle, things can get ugly. I could never just be me.

I'm going to try to carve out a little piece of cyberspace for myself. This time, this blog, is for me. I'll draw my line in the sand, and say here I can talk about love and sex and kink and the craziness that is life, without anyone from my public life looking at me and judging me. Sure, people will still judge me; I'm talking about sex in a blog, after all. But I'm here, and you're there, and hopefully we'll both take something away from this place.