Surprises

When it comes to sex and sexual adventures, there are good surprises and there are bad surprises. There are the ones you bring upon yourself (last set of AA's die right before orgasm; a toy that looked cheap and silly turns out to be fantastic) and there are those you cannot control (dorm fire drill in the middle of play time, anyone?) However, it seems like the best and the worst of these surprises come when said surprises are sprung by your significant other (no pun intended).


There's often a very fine line between an amazing surprise and a bad one. To illustrate, I ask you to turn your attention to exhibits A and B. In A, we see a husband and wife on their anniversary. The woman is surprising her husband with the results of her first Brazilian wax. He is ecstatic, and we bring the curtain down before this post gets too far off topic. It is deemed a good surprise by all concerned. Now, Exhibit B: we see another husband and wife, again on their anniversary. The wife looks very uncomfortable as she tells her husband that she got a Brazilian wax to surprise him, but the delicate skin is so raw and tender that, well, sex is out of the question for a few days. Needless to say, neither of them is very happy.

There is a third kind of surprise they can spring on you: the kind that could go either way. The kind that could bring you closer than ever, or could end up with at least one person crying. The kind that hinges on how you react to it, in that moment.

I got one of those surprises. My other half, whom after over a year of coaxing and cajoling had finally been willing to try a little anal fun, needed to replace his butt plug (which, due to his lingering shyness about the whole issue, I had never seen). That trusty soldier had given up the ghost a week before, and he didn't want to get anything bigger just yet. So we were shopping over at EdenFantasys for something as close as possible in size and shape to ol'faithful, but in a more body-safe material than rubber.

I went straight for the beginner plugs, and started pulling up "View Actual Size" windows. Imagine my surprise when he looks at each and says "nope, it was bigger. no, bigger..bigger..."

My mind began to boggle a bit when I realized that we had reached the most advanced plugs. The kind that are bigger than anything I'd voluntarily put into ANY orifice. (Except my mouth. Because that's a whole 'nother story.) I tried not to let my incredulity show as I asked him if he was SURE that was how large it had been, since these were sorta kinda EXTREMELY advanced. He just shrugged. Just for grins, I added rubber back into the search criteria, to see if it would pop up. And lo and behold...






A slick little number known as the Classic Butt Plug Royal. Little in the most sarcastic way possible. This bad boy has a diameter of 2.5 inches. This is not a typo. 2.5 INCHES. Wide. I'm no size queen, but I can't put something that big ANYwhere. Including my mouth, big though it may be. Screw boggling, my mind divided by zero!

Then the light dawned. "This isn't your first plug, is it?" A sheepish, little boy with his hand caught in the cookie jar smile. The story slowly unfolded, with much prodding and gentle teasing, that he had been experimenting for many years, but hadn't dared to tell me, because he was afraid of what I would think. He had let me think I was introducing him to the joys of anal pleasure so that it wouldn't look strange when he developed a taste for large toys.

"So... you're not creeped out or anything?"

I gave him a long, hard look. Then I broke into my foxiest grin.

"I think it's sexy as FUCK, love."

Moral of the story? Dr. Lily has a damn sexy mate. Be accepting of your lover's kink. You never know what delicious secrets you might find.

PS - Here's another (gratuitous use of parentheses) just for the heck of it. ;)
PPS - Why does there have to be a moral of the story anyway? Can't I just enjoy the awesomeness of discovering that my dearest loves being on the receiving end of a good anal fuck?