Saturday, August 7, 2010

Orgasmic Issues

Something is wrong.

Usually, it's quite easy for me to come. Getting turned on is hard, but once I'm going I can usually have a rip-raorin' clitoral orgasm without much trouble. Heck, I could orgasm on command if I had some modest clit stimulation going on. I'd perfected the art of the 2-minute shower orgasm.

Something has been different for the past few months. Sometimes, pressing a vibrator to my crotch has been like pressing it against my stomach: not at all sexually stimulating, but not a turn-off or relaxing massage, either. The vibrator was just... there. Same with the fingers. Ooh, yay, it's like I'm kneading my elbow. I could poke my clit directly, and while it wasn't numb, I could feel my finger, there wasn't a single twinge of pleasure.

I figured, maybe I need more stimulation than I used to. So, I reached for a more powerful toy. I pulled out my Wahl and FairyMini (on a very low setting, through fabric... that thing is strong!). They had been my go-to toys when I wanted a fast, effortless, no-fuss-no-frills orgasm. I could lightly hold them against my clit, and in less than five minutes I'd have blasted through at least one or two orgasms.

Imagine my shock when not only did it take me half an hour to come with my Wahl, but the orgasm was definitely unsatisfying. It was the kind of wimpy orgasms I usually have to coax out of cheap, weak, or poorly made vibrators I try to review.

The weeks progress. I essentially stop masturbating more than one attempt a week, for reviewing. It's not satisfying even if I manage to wring an orgasm out of it, and it's a hell of a lot of work either way for something that should be a de-stressing tool. I figure, if nothing else, a break from regular masturbating should bring back my sensitivity, right?

Last week, I convinced myself to try to get started again. I needed all the help relieving stress I could get.

I bruised my crotch pretty badly, applying pressure to try to get enough stimulation to orgasm. I almost broke one of my Wahl attachments, but I managed to orgasm. And the next day I could barely stand discomfort of my jeans seam rubbing against the bruise. I tried again a few days later, trying to be careful not to apply so much pressure. I ended up having to throw caution to the wind to get a single orgasm out of the mess. Getting desperate, I reached for the Pure Wand, the only toy that can make me orgasm without clitoral stimulation.

It hurt.

It found my g-spot, it cuddled up for some lovin, and it hurt.

As long as I'm careful (which I was), the Pure Wand never hurts, to me. This time, though, my vagina basically told it to fuck off.

Finally, in a bit of a Hail Mary pass, I turned the FairyMini all the way up, and applied atomic-missile-grade-vibration to clit. I orgasmed, but got no post-orgasmic bliss. Nothing aside for the usual panting from exertion.

I don't know what's wrong with me. It's like my sexuality is broken. I can get all hot and bothered by porn or erotica, but I can't do anything about it. I don't want to have sex, but if I manage to get going I can enjoy it... for a few minutes.

Something is wrong, and I don't know how to fix it.

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