Sunday, April 3, 2011

Moving Home after Graduation

In almost exactly 6 weeks, I will graduate. After 5 long years, my undergraduate schooling will be over (and then... helloooooo years upon years of medical training!) I'm looking forward to being able to get a bit of rest, and to breaking away from endless academic deadlines for a year.

What I'm not looking forward to is moving home. While I love my family, I'm not looking forward to losing the autonomy and privacy I've gotten used to here at school. The ability to close my door and disappear for a day or two to recharge, not interacting with anyone, is kind of nice. Having the privacy and autonomy to jerk off whenever I feel like it, to watch porn without fear, to have my boyfriend sleep over and to have sex, to play my music without worrying about disturbing my family, to eat my meals in peace without anyone judging my attempts to lose weight or to self-medicate with food, to set the thermostat to a temperature where I don't have blue fingers, all this means a lot to me. All the little things that I've come to take for granted about living alone. All of the things I won't even realize are important till they're gone.

There's also the whole thing my therapist said about how moving home right now would be one of the worst possible things I could do to my mind at the moment, but when has that ever stopped me?

Then there's the problem of all of my good friends being here around my school (or way, way, WAY out of state). I have no close friends at home. The only person from my hometown that I still talk to on a regular basis is my boyfriend. Huzzah for going in blind.

And damn, I'm going to miss the unlimited jack-off opportunities.

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