Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Thankful

I bitch and moan about my health and medications a lot. Seriously, way too much. I've been thinking recently, though, about all this. Really, I have a lot to be thankful for.

My current birth control method, Nuvaring, may be having issues with breakthrough bleeding, but you know what? I'm thankful that I'm not getting moodswings, that I've got a sex drive again, that I'm actually making my own lubricant again. I'm thankful that I don't have to take a pill every day at the same time, lest I get preggers or get hit by spotting or breakthrough bleeding. I'm thankful that, on my current insurance, the Nuvaring is cheaper than the stuff I was on before. I'm thankful that it works for me.

I'm thankful to be off the daily regimen of prescription strength pain killers. I'm thankful to be living with a 2/10 on the pain scale, instead of living with a 5/10 after the meds kick in. I'm thankful for doctors that kept looking for underlying causes to my pain, and have finally found one (of a few; we're still working on the rest). I'm thankful for doctors who trust my judgment. I'm thankful for doctors who don't pull punches and sugar-coat things, because I want - no, need - to know what's going on with my body. I'm thankful for my doctors who have worked so hard to bring my quality of living so much closer to that of a normal 22 year old.

And I'm thankful for you, my readers, for listening to me. I may rant a lot, but that's not all I am. I just tend to rant here more than elsewhere because it's safe to rant here. The people in my life don't want to hear about it any more, because it makes them feel guilty about not being able to fix it. I'm just unlucky in having a family where guilt translates into anger against the source of guilt. But I'm thankful for my family, and all they've done through the years, helping me through one medical issue after another.

I've realize that, no matter how crappy things may seem, there's a lot for me to be thankful for, and I do appreciate it. I'm probably not going to stop griping about my meds and health any time soon, because it makes me feel better, but I will remember that it's not all bad, really.

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