It's a small world

So last night I was wandering around on Adagio.com during a study break, ordering tea for last-minute Christmas gifts. (really good tea, by the way. I love their little 1oz sample tins!) Mom and I were trying to get the rest of her family covered, so were grabbing a bunch of samplers to mix-and-match according to each person's preferences in teas. In the Flavored Black section, I saw something that looked cute: something called Christmas Tea. It looked tasty, actually, so I read the ingredients off to my mom. Ceylon, orange peel, cinnamon, clove... Her response?

Busy Busy Busy

Man, things really snowball this time of year. Finals, papers, Christmas, concerts, finals, moving home for winter break, finals, and did I mention FINALS? I'm a wee bit behind on my reviewing, again. I just can't do everything at once, and it doesn't help that the stupid campus postal service adds an extra week to delivery time. For a while, I got my stuff sent to a friend's house off campus, but then her roomies decided to start opening my packages.

And then they stole one.

All I want for Christmas...

Dear Babeland,

All I want for Christmas... is the Form 6 by JimmyJane.
I really, really want this sex toy for a lot of reasons. It's powerful and versatile, elements I require in all of my favorite vibrators. It's rechargeable, which appeals to my desire to leave a smaller footprint with my toys. (and the geek in me is fascinated by the way cool charging method) I love its shape, its curves, and its lovely body-safe materials.

I’m especially deserving of this sexy toy because I’ve been a delightful mix of naughty and nice this year! I've showered my boyfriend with gifts of all sorts of fun toys, from a replacement of an old rubber favorite to some yummy Xhale glass. I'm learning to peg for him, which we've both very much enjoyed. I introduced some friends to the wonders of sex toys, guiding them up out of the $5 bullet aisle and into the light of silicone and glass. I've come up with crazy excuses for the stuff my parents occasionally wonder about, and managed to keep an ever-growing sex toy collection under wraps. I've reintroduced my ass to anal play, with promising results.

And I'll let you try to figure out which of those where naughty, and which of those were nice!


Yours truly,
Luscious Lily

Review: Little Flirt

The Little Flirt’s greatest dream in life is to convince you, and your butt, that ass-play can be comfortable and pleasurable.

48 hours out

I've been out from under my "wonder drug" for almost 48 hours now. I'm not going to say what it was, because not everyone responds the same way, and I don't want to prejudice you against a drug that may work better for you than it did for me. Suffice it to say, it was an arthritis-specific NSAID. At first, it really was a wonder drug. My pain level went down. At first, the acid reflux got better. I wasn't having many side effects. I seemed to have gotten a cold I couldn't shake, but that was it. I'd found a wonder drug, that could relieve my symptoms without crazy side effects.

That wonder drug robbed me of 2 months of my life, 2 months that I can never get back.

Panic

Update 12/7/09 - I wrote the post below the jump late at night. I almost deleted it when I was done. I'm glad I didn't now, because it makes the post I'll upload later make more sense.

When I wrote this, I had no idea how fucked up I was. I had no idea that this wasn't all in my head. I was on the edge of a cliff, but I didn't see it then. All I can say is thank god I read the clinical trials data for the medications I take. And thank god I decided I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, and asked to be taken off the medication.

Early attempts at making floggers.

Don't tell my boyfriend, but I'm having a lovely time making things to redden his sexy spanish bottom with. While we have the Fluffy Flogger, and it's a lot of fun, it just doesn't speak to me, if that makes any sense. I'll be using it, and it's just... there. It doesn't feel quite... right. I don't know why, but it doesn't. And I'm not the biggest fan of having it used on me, either. We have a nice paddle, and I like it from both ends, but it's not a flogger. There's something about floggers that just appeals to me. Being a bit of an artsy-fartsy person who often develops an intense connection with her pieces, I decided that it was time I started trying to make my own floggers.

HNT

Packing with my lovely new Joque harness and my Acute dildo.

Yes, it fits in there. Kinda. Only strains the pants a little bit.

Bronchitis and Butt Toys

So I've spent the last few days trying to keep myself from going bonkers while I'm cooped up with bronchitis. I'm coughing too hard to keep my libido going, but I just got a lovely load of new toys from EdenFantasys to play with and review. Completely unfair, because they're all so cool and amazing looking.

EdenCafe

I've been babbling on about EdenCafe for a while now. It's EdenFantasys' wonderful blog, where guest writers do all sorts of fun articles, staff post travel and event stories and pictured, contests are run, and much fun is had. I write articles for them whenever I can. I'm in the midst of a series of articles on life as the child of a transgendered person, and I've had a heck of a lot of fun participating in Love/Hate week this past week.

Have you been over to EdenCafe yet? You should! There's a lot of wonderful and fun articles to read!

^ clicky! ^

(What are you still doing here?
Yeah, I'm talking to you.
You in the back.
Behind the computer.
You know who you are.
Off to EdenCafe with you!
Shoo!)

Stressed Sexy Time

My pre-sex habits endlessly frustrate my boyfriend. We jump into bed together, horny… and then don’t start foreplay. I want to cuddle for a while, which he’s ok with. But then I want to talk, and crack jokes, and be incredibly silly, and muse about deep topics. And cuddle some more. And be silly, and cuddle. And then finally jump him.

New Loving a Transgendered Parent Article!

My new article in the Loving a Transgendered Parent series on EdenCafe went live earlier today. Interested? Here's a sneak preview...

Because you can totally slingshot alien missiles back into space with a few dozen good sports bras.

Interested? Curious as to what might have prompted such a bizarre comment? Then wander over and read

Memo to Self: Don't Wear the Pink Bra To Work

Rethinking my place here

In the past few weeks, I've had to reexamine what I was and was not willing to do in this, my Lily persona. I review, I blog, I tweet, I post HNTs. I've learned a great deal, and I've made a lot of friends, some of whom I originally idolized and never dreamed I'd be able to call them friends. I've mentioned things that would seriously narrow the search field if someone went digging.

The biggest has been the Loving a Transgendered Parent series I've been doing with EdenCafe. I've had a few sleepless nights over those, but I decided that the help they could give to people who needed to hear what I could tell them was worth more than the discomfort I'd experience if I had to explain all of this to my family.

Since I've Been Gone...

I'd like to apologize for my long, unexplained absence. Partially to blame is my health: I've spent the last three weeks in some stage of one flu or another. (garden variety flu so far, luckily) Trying to take care of myself resulted in deadlines piling up that I had to then scramble to meet, which in turn wore me down until I got sick again. It's kept me from most of my usual activities, including sex, until this past weekend.

When My Clit Goes On Vacation

Sometimes, my clit goes on vacation. She just up and disappears without a word. There's never any warning, because she fails to seduce my libido into running away with her. I can grind away with a massager powerhouse or rub it till the cows come home, and I might as well be playing with my arm. No amount of stimulation, of any kind, is going to get her going.

Emotional Fallout of a Transgendered Coming Out

My second article in my Loving a Transgendered Parent series on EdenCafe is now up. Thank you to all of you who responded with such welcome to the first story. I was stunned to find "My Dad's Going To Become My Mom" on the Divine Caroline, as one of the top stories in the Family section. I'm amazed that so many people want to read it; I was expecting these to have just a small, niche audience in the trans-friendly community. If these in any way help someone someday, if they help someone elses family and friendships survive the coming out, then I'll be happy. If they help someone understand what it's like to love a transgendered person and to dispel even a little bit of the hate and fear, then they'll do more than I could hope for.

Emotional Fallout of a Transgendered Coming Out

Lots of Toys

For those who were curious, this is the majority of my collection.

None of my restraints are here, but I couldn't resist tossing in my favorite flogger.

In setting up for this shot, I realized just how many sex toys I have.

And this is after throwing out and giving away a bunch.

I am kind of proud of myself: I managed to avoid a lot of the worst offenders in materials. My few jelly toys have all been retired by now; of what you see here, the least hygenic is probably the rubber. But you shall have to pry that lavender rabbit from my dead hands, because it rocks too much to toss.

I also realized how many dreams come true there are up there. A whole passle of dildos from Tantus. Not one, but THREE toys from Lelo. A silicone ball gag. A gorgeous flogger. Glass toys, ceramic, aluminum. I am truely blessed, and I'd like to take a moment and thank the companies whose toys I have been given to review. You guys give me awesome sex toys, and all you ask in return is an honest review. You rock.

Review: Sensual Love Lotion

Sensual Love Lotion by Hathor Aphrodisia is a perfumed lotion scented with essential oils that supposedly have aphrodisiac properties.

Or should I say, massage oil masquerading as a lotion.

Note to the World

1. Transgender people do not all look alike.

2. Thus, there is no such thing as “looking like” a transgender person.

3. If you think there is, that’s based on our own prejudiced assumptions.

4. There is nothing wrong with being transgender, nor with looking like whatever it is you think that transgender people look like.

5. Therefore, saying that someone “looks” transgender as a form of insult is nonsensical not only as a statement, but also as an insult.

6. And it’s sure as hell not funny.

7. “Tranny,” however, is a bigoted slur against transgender people, particularly trans women or other people on the trans-feminine spectrum.

8. Saying that someone “looks like a tranny” is therefore also an insult not to the person (usually not transgender) who is being “insulted,” but to actual transgender people, as it indicates not only that they all look alike, but also that there is something wrong and amusing by looking like they (both supposedly and actually) do.

9. The kind of thinking that says there is something wrong or amusing about “looking transgender” or actually being transgender contributes an incredible amount to the frequent murder of transgender people, particularly trans women.

10. If any of this has made you think about things that you’ve never thought about before, and you would like to learn more, you really ought to google “transgender 101.”

I have a sad feeling that it will be necessary to link to this post many, many times in the future. If there’s anything I’ve missed on the topic of this one narrow yet very prevalent slice of transphobia, please feel free to reblog with additions.

Reposted from The Curvature on Tumblr

HNT

It's been a stressful week, and it's only going to get worse. I'm dead tired. So all you get this week is a cellphone shot of me before I crawl into bed.

TMI Tuesday

1. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?

Long weekend

It's been a long weekend, even if it was only 2 days. My mom went on a cleaning binge, which meant the whole family spent hours upon hours cleaning the house. After she got that out of her system, we went to the animal shelter to visit the dog we're adopting on Tuesday. (they're making us wait until they've neutered him; understandable, but we're impatient!) Then I went to our town's Harvest Festival with my boyfriend.

And got food poisoning.

My Dad’s Going to Become My Mom

My first article on EdenCafe is now up! The series is called "Loving a Transgendered Parent" because so often families are torn apart by a member coming out as transgendered. We're one of the few that hasn't. Working through it is a long, hard road, but we're in it together.

This first article is, appropriately, on how I first found out that . ..

"My dear father isn’t, should have been, maybe someday will be, a woman."

It's a much more personal story than I'd planned on telling when I offered to write these articles. On the other hand, writing it has also been one of the most healing things I've done since I found out. I hope that, in reading it, people can begin to understand, and to empathize with Transgendered people and their families.

My Dad’s Going to Become My Mom

HNT

When I took this picture for HNT, I didn't realize that there had been a sort of theme these past two weeks. (I'm rather new to HNT, and I'm still figuring things out) Last week, many people did a "Flaws HNT" and I guess I missed the memo on that one. As a foil to the flaws theme, many people are doing a "Favorite Body Part" theme this week. Unwittingly, I partially fulfilled the theme.

While it may come as no shock that my boobs are one of my favorite body parts, another is my shoulders. I love my delicate little shoulders. I was playing with the lens on the camera, experimenting with soft focus.

Excitement

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Review: Dual Climax

When I first set eyes on the Dual Climax by WHK GmbH, I was unimpressed. It looked like an inexpensive set of bullets, and how much can I say about those? A lot more than I thought.

HNT

Ever wonder where the Luscious in my name came from?
I point you now to exhibit A, this week's HNT...

Dangerous Lilly's Pure Wand Contest

Lilly, of DangerousLilly.com, is giving away an Njoy Pure Wand courtesy of EdenFantasys! The Pure Wand is a high-quality stainless steel double-ended dildo for either G-spot stimulation or prostate stimulation. It is 24 ounces of solid medical grade stainless steel, and polished to a mirror shine. Lilly loves her Pure Wand and wants to spread the love to one lucky winner!

To enter the contest just visit her blog to find out the rules and entry methods. You can enter even if you don’t have a blog, it’s easy! The contest deadline is September 16th, 2009, at Midnight Eastern Standard Time.

A little teaser for this week's Sex and the Suburbs

Review: Hide'N'Seek

A few weeks ago, I won a contest Vera (VeraFromFYN) was holding on Twitter. The goal: to help AnerosJohn, who was new to twitter, get more followers. The prize? A brand new Hide'N'Seek case from ForYourNymphomation!

The ForYourNymphomation Hide 'N' Seek is a sleek, cute little toy case. Like Baby Bear's belongings to Goldilocks, it is not too big, not too small, but just right. At 6"x 4"x 2", it's small enough to slip into a purse, but still large enough to hold an impressive amount of sexual firepower.

Lack of HNT

Sorry everyone, no HNT this week. After days of being sick with a fever and being unable to eat, I've finally started getting better. I still look like Dracula came along and sucked out my blood, though. Transparent and bleary-eyed may seem sexy to some people, but I refuse to photograph it.

Instead, I shall soon treat you all to some pictures of a ForYourNymphomation case full of (some of) my toys. Because taking pictures of sex toys is fun and sexy.

Review: Peridise Beginner set

When the wonderful people of Aneros offered to send me the beginner Peridise set, I was intrigued. While I enjoy anal stimulation, it's not something I reach for very often. I have enough problems with hemorrhoids that butt play is often off-limits, so I haven't been able to work up very far in anal toys.

This interesting little set is marketed in two ways, under two names: as a sex toy under the name Peridise, and as an anorectal exerciser and hemorrhoid massager for under the name Peristal. As I enjoy the former and am in desperate need of the latter, I was definitely interested!

Revelations, Transitions, and Questions

My father is transgendered. He should have been born a woman. (I will be using the male pronouns for now, at his request) And now, after 50 years of living as a man, repressing every urge to be the woman he should have been, he has begun his transition. While it was a shock at first, and not the easiest thing to adjust to, going through this together has really brought our family together. Contrary to his fears, my mother didn't kick him out, and my little sister and I didn't reject him. It's been harder than we expected, but we still love him and eventually her.

Fever and the Death of a Netbook

The week started out well. I spent Sunday working on a paper, drafting some new reviews on my little netbook, and having some really awesome sex.

Monday morning was pretty good. I did some very successful and painless (metaphorically speaking) back-to-school shopping and worked on those reviews into the afternoon. Then late afternoon hit, and things started going downhill. I started feeling alternately sweaty and chilled. I got a blinding headache that tied me to the couch for a few hours. The headache retreated before the onslaught of Tylenol. I was still nauseous, though and I was starting to get a bit disoriented.

HNT

This lovely little shot has a story behind it. I’d never owned a bikini in my life until two weeks ago. I was too self-conscious until recently, and my, ah, ballooning bustline has ruled out most American-made swimsuits. Then, this lovely little shop that imports swimsuits appeared. With a gorgeous, well-built, supportive, underwire bikini. In 32F! I was in love, and it was on sale. Fantasie, you’re my hero. I can’t wait to buy some of your bras if they fit as well as this bikini!

Wishlist Wednesday: Prostate Envy

I'll be honest: I may not be overly prone to penis envy, but recently I've been plagued by prostate envy. The way some guys tell it, it sounds almost magical: some pressure, a bit of thrusting or vibration, and before long, WHAM! Mind-blowing, toe-curling, throbbing, shaking orgasm.

I may have a responsive clit, but even I can't pull that off that fast with just fingers. Having watched my boyfriend slip in his Tantus Sire and be dry orgasming in under a minute, I get jealous. There is no spot in my body that responds that fast. While my ass has, occasionally, enhanced orgasms, it has never caused any. It's not for lack of trying. I've done all kinds of interesting things to my ass, but results have been less than mind-blowing. Impossible as it may be, I'd love to borrow a prostate once in a while.

Since I don't have a prostate, this Wishlist Wednesday is dedicated to toys I'd love to get for my boyfriend's prostate. And toys I'd go for if I had one.

Time to Un-Disappear!

I'd like to apologize for disappearing off the the face of the earth for a while without any warning. Life has been throwing me some curve balls, and I'm not the best batter.

Two weeks ago today, we had to put down my dog.

HNT

This week's HNT: Pretty in Plaid

Excited, in More Ways than One

This has been a very busy, exciting week! Costumes made for Gypsy. Wrapping up my first summer in a new lab. And finally, the most exciting bit: two companies approaching me through twitter to offer me some drool-worthy toys to review. I know this isn't all that earth-shaking or exciting to those who have been reviewing extensively for many programs for a while. But this is a first for me, so I'm beside myself with excitement.

Review: Sliquid H2O

Sliquid H2O: Less lasting than Ye Olde Astroglide, but none of the irritation for us sensitive types. It doesn't gunk up during use, and it leaves no residue behind when it's gone. Personally, I found that it works better when I'm flying solo with my toys than it does during sex. Unfortunately, it just doesn't last well at for sex, leaving us reapplying over and over.

Review: Pjur Woman

I'm a fan of Pjur's original silicone lube formula. It's a great silicone lube as long as you don't mind that it's thin. I bought Pjur Woman expecting something similar, with added features to make it better for the female body. I wasn't sure what they might be, since pH isn't an issue, nor are microbes, allergens, or irritants.

Long weekend of creativity

This was one of those weekends so long they feel busier than the week. I'm helping with costuming for a local theater production of the musical Gypsy. That meant that this weekend the two of us made two gowns, and while she was canvassing the local thrift shops for costume bits and pieces, I made two sets of wings, a few large hairpieces, and a pile of stage jewelry (big and gaudy up close, but still just enough to be visible as jewelry from the audience).

I'm so tired I haven't masturbated all weekend.

The Man in My Reviews

Since I first began, reviewing sex toys has always been something I've done. My boyfriend knew about it, he was often right there with me picking out toys, he got to test drive my reviewing items, he got to read the drafts, and when they were toys for couples, I would pick his brain. He never showed any interest in doing any more toward reviewing than this. Mostly it's because he often has a hard time putting thoughts from a sexual context into words.

HNT

For those who like bruises, a slightly different HNT. Last Monday, my doctor told me that my Vitamin B12 labwork came back on the low end of normal, so she gave me an injection of Vitamin B12 to see if it would help my symptoms.

Here are the bruises 10 days after said injection. The smaller bruise on top is the injection site (and it's still ridiculously tender). The larger bruise on the bottom is where the very thick serum hit a capillary bed.

So, not a standard HNT, but a slightly silly one. (just ignore the phone tucked under the chin...)

Happy HNT!

Fantasy Faux-Job

I've got a confession to make: I want a faux-job.

HNT

Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday!

Wishlist Wednesday: Butt Lust

Despite repeated forays, all of my previous attempts to train my ass have led to failure. I used to believe that this was due to, ah, insurmountable problems of a medical/anatomical nature, if you catch my drift. However, I am coming to realize that it may in fact be due to a lack of proper tools.

Someone shit in my gene pool.

Sorry, no sexy shoes this Tuesday. Usually window-shopping for shoes I would never really buy would be fun and a nice distraction, but after everything that's been going on, I just can't help but find it petty.

As many of you know, I've been dealing with a series of health issues. My asthmatic lungs are still recovering from being shredded by 5 bouts of bronchitis between last July and this January. I had to change birth control medications because the one I was on had, after 2 years of being amazing, started causing "mood changes" of a wide variety, a vaginal Sahara Desert, and a zombie libido*. (those issues have cleared up on the new meds, thank heavens) And now it's been a year since we started trying to figure out what's causing my back pain.

Review: Impressions Paddle hearts

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Sexy Shoes Tuesday

After much wandering and lusting, I finally settled on the sexy shoes for this week.

I've got a weakness for chunky heels, and the lines on this pair have such a old-school jazz flair. My only quibble is that I wish they came in both black, and black with a white spat pattern. And I'm a pianist, so jazzy shoes while I'm playing jazz? Oh yes.

Orgasmic Tendencies

My brain is ever so slightly fried from a long weekend of insanity, hellish cramps, then far too short a night's sleep before a long day at work. So this quiz is the closest semblance of coherent thought I was capable of.

HNT

Time to try my first Half Nekkid Thursday.

Featuring my new white patent pinup pumps, and my beloved Fluffy Flogger.

Said flogger is a little pissed at me for leaving her packed away for so long, so is refusing to pose nicely. I can't say as I blame her, but she still can't come with me this weekend.

Too many new Tantus toys to bring to try, so there's no room left for her.

Poor baby.

So my love gets a reprieve from that flogging I've been "threatening" him with.

He still has to take every one of these dildos.
(one at a time, of course)

Too bad I don't have room for the pumps.




(this is kind of fun. I may have to do this more often)

Wishlist Wednesday: Unexpected Dildo Problem in a Biracial Relationship

So I have this sudden, unexpected problem with toys and strap-ons in my deliciously biracial relationship. I want a Vixen Creations dildo in my coloring to fuck him with, but I want one in HIS coloring to fuck myself with. That makes at least two, a Caramel for me to use, and a Vanilla for me to wield.

Closest Shave, but a Shame

The crotch can be a shaving nightmare, especially when you have a picky pussy. I can, at most, shave down there three times a week, if I'm very careful and lucky. I've given up on shaving my mons and bikini line altogether in favor of home waxing. While my labia are better behaved, you so much as say "dry shave" around them and they bleed. If I try to crowd shavings, they get raw and horribly uncomfortable. Add to that the issues of trying to bend to see what I'm doing when my back is acting up, and I wish I could wave a magic wand at my pubes and make them behave.

Of incredible trust: a strap-on story

Saturday night looked like it was going to be like any other Saturday night: good sex, cuddles, then watching a movie together before bed. I'd pretty much decided in my head that his agreement to use a strap-on together the previous weekend had just been the vodka talking. Every other time we'd talked about it, his response had been maybe someday, but not ready yet. He sometimes says he wants things he's not ready for when he's tipsy, so how was I to know this was any different?

Review: Jolie by Natural Contours

I’m always on the lookout for a small, strong, quiet, low-maintenance vibrator. For about a month, this position was filled by the Natural Contours Jolie. I adored the little thing, with its small profile and deep vibrations, enough to forgive its slightly clunky, retro “vibe” (if you’ll pardon the expression).

Orgasm: best pain-killer ever

Let's talk about pain.

Not the kinky kind, the spankings and floggings that make you quiver all over. Not the quick kind, like when you prick your finger or get a headache. The kind of pain that takes over your life.

Review: Pure by Evolved

Recently, the toy fairies over at EdenFantasys sent me the Pure by Evolved to review. Initially, I was a little underwhelmed by the power of the otherwise well-made toy, but I soon learned that much of this was because I had used rechargeable batteries. Standard disposables definitely increase the strength, though I'd much rather use rechargeable batteries. I hear Eneloops can hold their own against disposable batteries, so feel free to use those in the Pure.

The Pure is my favorite (affordable) upgrade from the standard basic vibrator. She’s strong. Her vibrations are deep and thrumming. She’s velvety. She’s ridiculously waterproof. She’s quiet. Some may find her too simple, too bland, but when I see a basic toy like this I take it as a challenge to see how many new uses I can come up for with it. We both had a lot of fun stretching our imaginations to the limit, but there always seem to be so many more possibilities with a generalize toy like the Pure than with a hyper-specialized toy. To illustrate, how many nonstandard uses can you think of for an ergonomic prostate-aimed butt plug? You have 2 minutes. GO!

If you thought of more than 3, I'm impressed and want to hear them.

To read my full review on the Pure, click over to EdenFantasys…

Worthy of my toys

I've noticed that I do most of my purchasing of more expensive sex toys, or more expensive batches of sex toys, when it's either very late at night, or when I'm under the influence of a small amount of alcohol or my pain medication. My guard goes down, and I shell out the money for those playthings I've been lusting after.

I have never regretted a single one of those purchases. They were always within my budget. They were all things I wanted to buy. Most of them were purchases I'd thought about long and hard. But without that little extra push, I'd never have bought most of them. After my most recent such purchase, I think I may have finally realized why.

I don't think I deserve them.

Sexy Shoes Tuesday!

I’m not usually a big shoe person. Yes, I like them, but I don’t own many. Growing up, I usually owned a pair or two of sneakers, a pair or two of inexpensive sandals (think cheap flip-flops), and the bare minimum of dress shoes: a closed pair for winter, and an open pair for summer. For most of High School, I had more pairs of dance and theater related shoes than other shoes. Now I have more, but it’s still a relatively small collection. I ain’t got nothin’ on most gals.

But there are some shoes that are just plain sexy. I'm not talking shoes that make you go "ooh, that's cute," I'm talking shoes I want to fuck in.

Squeee!

*does a happy dance around the room*

Ok. I've got that out of my system now. After all of the insanity I went through trying to convince myself to get a Lelo sex toy, I had a lovely little conversation with my boyfriend. While most of it is none of your business, he told me that he wanted to buy me a sex toy, with the condition that it had to be under $30, because his wallet was thin at the time. This was great, but at that moment there wasn't anything in that price range that was really high on my wish list.

Your Brain on Sex

We in the Neuroscience community estimate that the human brain contains upwards of 100 billion neurons. That's a one with eleven zeros after it. Each one connects to anywhere from a few to thousands of other neurons.

In geek speak, look at it this way: imagine that each neuron can only contain one bit of information (though in reality they can hold many more, as determined by a horde of details you can go find in a textbook if you're really interested). The brain could hold 100 Terabytes of information. On top of that, it can process this information far faster and with more nuanced complexity than any computer ever made.

In other words, the greatest, most powerful sex machine ever. Who could say no to that much porn-remembering-sex-intensifying-orgasm-fueling processing power?

Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce your Brain, sovereign of sordid (cerebral) sex.

Earn it!

For a long time, I didn't understand the appeal of luxury vibrators. I mean, come on, I can rip out a damn good orgasm with a $10 bullet, so why the heck should I pay more? Sure my bullets broke in a few months, but then I could buy a new one and not be upset that it broke. It was only $10 after all.

After a few weeks I decided that paying a little extra for water resistant toys would be a good idea. I live in a dorm, with a roommate. There is little privacy, so shower time became me time. I still didn't consider spending above $20 for a toy, though.

Sexy Shoes Tuesday

In a fit of silliness, I hereby declare today Sexy Shoes Tuesday. I’m not usually shoe-crazy, but far be it from me to deny Miss Fuck Me Pumps and M’lady Fuck Me Boots their proper place. So, as an offering to the Sexy Shoe gods, I present this ode to sexy shoes.

Oh Sexy Shoes,
How I love thee.
Thy shape, how fine
Thy line, so fair
That arches high
And sweeps me off my feet
(perhaps I should have practiced more
before I left the house...)

The angle that you make
Doth give my legs that extra
Sleek
Something more
That makes them seem sky-high
And divinely shaped

Thy dainty form
Doth make me like a lady move
With gliding step
And swaying hip
Instead of like a boy

I doth love less
The way you pinch
The way you press
The way you rub
The way you make my poor feet ache
But it is worth it in the end
(though I may need an asprin
Before I put you on again)

I adore you for the many ways
You tantalize both me
And he
And they
For through thy faults
None can contest
Thy sexy deity

Review: Ideal Massager

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Forum Threads and Erotic Dreams

Over on the EdenFantasys forums, there's a new thread about being a member of the opposite sex for the day. Included is a poll asking if you'd do it, with the choices yes, no, and other.

I'm one of the oddballs that chose "other."

Really. If given the chance to be a man for a day (especially with the thread's condition that it might be permanent), I'd turn it down. I love being a woman. I love my breasts, the way they feel and move, even though they can sometimes be a literal pain in the chest and back. I love my clitoris, with multiple orgasms, and endless orgasms that stretch on and on. I love my hips and my newly grown ass. I love my slender, shapely legs, and the high heels that make them so sexy. I love my hands, so delicate and nimble. I love my delicate bone structure, my long eyelashes, my soprano voice, and I absolutely adore my hair in its long golden tresses.

Being a guy for a day might be fun. But all that I'd want out of that would be having a penis, without losing any of my womanly bits.

If I could be another sex for a day, I guess I'd want to be the variety of intersex that was traditionally called a hermaphrodite. I find the idea of having a penis, but being otherwise a woman (including having a "normal" vagina) incredibly erotic. I'm not sure why, but this has been a fantasy of mine for a while now. I'm not sure if it's me being greedy and wanting only the bits that appeal to me from both sides, or what, but it's there.

With all of this swirling around in my head, I took a nap after work.

(You know where this is going, don't you?)

Faith, Hope, Love... and the greatest of these is...

(self) Love. The physical love of oneself. Masturbation. Preferably with sex toys.

(Oh yes. I just went there. And before you flip, I sing in the church choir. Now, may I continue?)

Ah, sex toys. Before we discover them, they are forbidden territory: dirty, wrong, and just a little bit tantalizing, which makes them even more forbidden. To the sex toy owners, look back. Remember when you got your first. Was it from a sleazy porn store? A creepy sex toy shop on the other side of town? The back room of a lingerie store? An austere website, or a gaudy one? Amazon, or ebay perhaps?

Post-finals Crash

I'm recovering from finals. It's involving a lot of staring blankly at walls, sleeping 13+ hours a day, gibbering madly, and figuring out how to type faster than an octopus on opioids. If octopuses are affected by opioids. That might be an interesting line of research, actually. What are the physiological results of injecting octopuses with morphine in various quantities? What are the possible applications of such knowledge? How will it advance the understanding of the mechanisms by which opioids act in the body?

Just a thought.

First Times

Ah, first times. Rumor has it that it just might be the best sex of your life, that it is incredibly special, almost magical. Virgins whisper about it in awe, and build up monumental expectations about how wondrous it will be.

Unfortunately, the reality isn't usually such a perfect fairy tale.

Oh, the Woes of Being a Student

Being both a student and a nympho can be a lot of fun, but then finals roll around. For those who have never tried this juggling act, let me tell you something: it puts a SERIOUS crimp in sexy-time!

Surprises

When it comes to sex and sexual adventures, there are good surprises and there are bad surprises. There are the ones you bring upon yourself (last set of AA's die right before orgasm; a toy that looked cheap and silly turns out to be fantastic) and there are those you cannot control (dorm fire drill in the middle of play time, anyone?) However, it seems like the best and the worst of these surprises come when said surprises are sprung by your significant other (no pun intended).

Musings

I have come to realize that America's general attitude towards all things sexual is rather like that of a 3rd grader:
"Eeeeeew!"
"Hahah, you said SEX"

Now what I want to know is, who the hell is raising this kid, and where did they go?!

Spring Cleaning

In a fit of orderliness, I spent an hour re-organizing my sex toy drawer. It had gotten to the point where I was running out of room, couldn't find things quickly, and certain favorites had been eaten by the abyss. Much to my surprise, when I reorganized, not only did I have plenty of room, but I had more than enough, before throwing anything away!

Beginnings, Blogs, and Lines in the Sand

I've been an on-again-off-again blogger for almost ten years. I had a livejournal where I babbled about whatever came to mind; I shared a deadjournal because we thought it was funny to see who could write the craziest pretend-emo posts; I had a "social" blog my friends knew about on Xanga for a while, and a private Xanga where I posted the poetry I had written that I didn't want my parents finding on the computer; I had another livejournal where I vented; I tried out the blog feature on MySpace and found it severely lacking; I've had a few other web journals scattered around cyberspace that I no longer even remember the hosts for.

Looking back, I realize that except for that little Xanga of self-exploratory poetry, none of those early forays into blogging was really for myself. They were censored and edited and slanted based on the people who knew about them and about me. I could never just say what was on my mind. I could never explore and work out the crazy, wonderful things going on in my mind, because someone who knew me would decide I'd gone off the deep end and call for a therapist, just because I was pondering philosophy at a young age. I could never rant about the people or events in my life honestly, because when people know both you personally and your handle, things can get ugly. I could never just be me.

I'm going to try to carve out a little piece of cyberspace for myself. This time, this blog, is for me. I'll draw my line in the sand, and say here I can talk about love and sex and kink and the craziness that is life, without anyone from my public life looking at me and judging me. Sure, people will still judge me; I'm talking about sex in a blog, after all. But I'm here, and you're there, and hopefully we'll both take something away from this place.